Arguments
by OtakuCookie123
Summary: What happens when Natsu and Gray start arguing..but this time it drags out TOO long. -CONTAINS LOTS OF SWEARING-
1. Chapter 1

**Since I'm busy with a lot of school, I don't have time to write! But me and my friend (SwagSider) were being idiots and we came up with this... I thought it was funny and that maybe you would like it!**

Natsu: OH SHI- FLY! *Grabs chair, swings it around*

Gray: OI NATSU! PUT THAT FUCKING DOWN YOU BASTARD!

Natsu: SHUT UP STRIPPER! *Chucks chair at fly*

Fly: *Moves, dodges it* *Chair hits window*

Gray: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

Natsu: RETURN TO YOUR POLE! YOU'RE RUNNING LOW ON MONEY!

Gray: THE RESTAURANT CALLED, THEY'RE MISSING THEIR GRILL!

Natsu: SHUT IT ELSA!

Gray: WHY DON'T YOU, ANNA?

Natsu: I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING SISTER!

Gray: PINKY!

Natsu: BLUEY!

Gray: THAT'S NOT EVEN A WORD!

Natsu: WELL IT IS NOW!

Gray: SHUT UP, FIRE BRAIN!

Natsu: WHY DON'T YOU, ICE LOLLY!

Gray: THAT'S IT-

Natsu: DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN?

Gray: RIGHT-

Natsu: COME AND BUILD A FUCKING SNOWMAN, PUSSY!

Gray: WHAT? BECAUSE IT'LL BE THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER?

Natsu: DUDE JUST LET IT FUCKING GO!

Gray: HEY DO YOU THINK LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR?

Natsu: NO. I THINK CATS (REINDEERS) ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE!

Gray: WHAT BECAUSE YOU HAVE A FROZEN HEART?

Natsu: NO! BECAUSE WE'RE 'IN SUMMER.'

Gray: YOU'RE A BIT OF A FIXER UPPER.

Natsu: EVERYONE'S A BIT OF A FIXER UPPER.

Gray: BUT THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!

Natsu: NO. GO BACK TO THE GUARDIANS, JACK!

Gray: WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR TOWER, RAPUNZEL?!

Natsu: OH SHUT IT YOU WITCH!

Gray: GO BACK TO FINN, FLAME PRINCESS!

Natsu: GO CAPTURE SOMEONE ICE KING.

Elfman: THIS IS A MANS FIGHT!

Gray: FLAME BREATH!

Natsu: SNOWMAN!

Gray: COOKER!

Natsu: ICICLE!

Gray: CHARCOAL!

Natsu: FREEZER!


	2. Chapter 2

**I had no internet for a while so I ended up writing some fanfictions, this is a little something I got bored and wrote xD (It was checked by DelenaBitshees though!) I'm also British. Hoover = Vaccum.**

Gray: SHUT UP HOOVER!

Natsu: HOOVER?!

Gray: YEAH! YOU HOOVER UP FOOD!

Natsu: WHAT'S A HOOVER?

Gray: *Face palm*

Elfman: A HOOVER IS A MAN!

Natsu: IT'S A MAN?

Gray: IT'S NOT! SHUT UP, ELFMAN!

Natsu: I'M SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW!

Gray: YOU SHOULD BE!

Elfman: A MAN IS A MAN!

Gray: SHUT UP!

Natsu: HEY! ELFMAN IS MY FRIEND!

Gray: HE'S MINE TOO YOU ASSHOLE!

Natsu: SHUT UP YOU DICK!

Elfman: MAN VS MAN!

Natsu: SHUT UP!

Gray: OH SO NOW YOU'RE TELLING HIM TO SHUT UP?

Elfman: AN ELF AND A MAN IS AN ELFMAN!

Natsu: I SWEAR HE MUST BE DRUNK!

Gray: MAYBE YOU ARE!

Natsu: MAYBE I AM!

Gray: Wait..are you?

Natsu: No..

Gray: MAYBE I AM!

Natsu: Are you?

Gray: No..

Natsu: YOU'RE LIKE OLAF GONE WRONG!

Gray: FROZEN AGAIN? AIN'T YA GOT ANY NEW JOKES?

Natsu: NAAAH!

Gray: WELL THEN!

Elfman: Man..MAn..MAN...MANNNN!

Natsu/Gray: ELFMAN, SHUT UP!

Natsu: GO SEE EVERGREEN OR SOMETHING!

Elfman: EVERGREEN ISN'T A MAN!

Gray: MAN? A-Are you gay?

Elfman: *Walks off* A MAN SHOULD MAKE LOVE TO A MAN!

Gray: I'm gonna throw up..

Natsu: Already did..

Gray: THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Natsu: SO IS YOUR STRIPPING! YOU GOT ENOUGH MONEY YET?

Gray: FOR WHAT?

Natsu: I DUNNO, FOR WHATEVER YOU WANNA GET-

Levy: *Chucks book* WILL BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP SHOUTING? I'M TRYING TO READ! GO SOMEWHERE ELSE OR GO FUCKING FUCK ELFMAN! *Sits down*

Gray: Wow...

Natsu: Someone's on their period...

Levy: What was that? *Turns around, glares*

Natsu: NOTHING!

Levy: I SAID STOP SHOUTING! I HAVE A MOTHER FUCKING HEADACHE HERE!

Gray: Sorry...

Levy: Thank you.. *Turns back around*

Gajeel: *Sits down near them*

Gray: I feel sorry for ya man..

Gajeel: Huh?

Natsu: Yup..Must be hard..

Gajeel: What the-?

Gray: Yeah with dating her..

Gajeel: 'Her'? You mean shrimp?

Natsu: Mhm..She's having a..tantrum..

Them: *Looks over at her*

Jet: I think we should go on a mission, Levy..

Droy: Yeah, Levy.. We haven't gone on one in ages!

Levy: SHUT UP!

Gajeel: Oh...

Natsu: Yeah...

Gray: Think you could sort her out?

Gajeel: Sort her out? Gihi..you mean talking or the other way?

Natsu: Other way?

Gray: ?

Gajeel: *Smirks*

Natsu: ...

Gray: ...

Natsu: EW, NO!

Gray: THAT'S DISGUSTING!

Natsu: EW..NO..IT'S IN MY MIND..NO.. *Throws up*

Gray: DON'T IMAGINE IT!

Natsu: Already did..

Gajeel: *Smirks*

Gray: Well I think I'll go now..

Natsu: Bye ice princess..

Gajeel: See ya..

Gray: *Hits foot on the table he passes* MOTHER FUCKING-

Levy: *Flips table*

Natsu: What's a hoover?


	3. Chapter 3

_**With all the wonderful reviews/comments we got me and DelenaBitshees decided to make another chapter!**_

Natsu: *busy on his phone tapping away, walks into the road*

Gray: *pulls Natsu back*

Natsu: HEY! What's the big fucking deal?

Gray: You nearly got ran over you fucking twat!

Natsu: IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU I WOULD'VE CAUGHT A FUCKING PSYDUCK

Gray: oh shit

Natsu: YEAH 'OH SHIT' YOU MADE ME CLOSE THE APP AND NOW HE'S GONE YOU FUCKING WANKSTAIN

Gray: IM THE WANKSTAIN? YOURE THE ONE WHOS CONSTANTLY IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE OF LUC-

Natsu: SHUSH! SHUSH! THERE'S A JYNX NEARBY *runs off*

Gray: *chases him*

Natsu: it's only a CP 26 I'm so disappointed..

Gray: then you should've joined team mystic then you'd be getting better ones

Natsu: NAH! TEAM VALOR FOR THE WIN

Lucy: *running last with levy* TEAM INSTINCT FOR THE WIN

Gray: SHUT UP LUCY YOUR HIGHEST POKEMON IS A LEVEL 89 RATTATA

Lucy: SO NOT TRUE ITS LEVEL 90 ACTUALLY

Natsu: LEAVE MY LUCE ALONE

Gray: ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANNA HAVE SOME FUN IN THE BATHRO-

Natsu: GRAY JUST FUCKING TURN ON YOUR MOBILE DATA AND CATCH THESE POKEMON YOU ANNOYING DICKHEAD

Gray: MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO

Natsu: Fine then use the data from the magic four wheel vehicle just a suggestion..

Gray: Natsu I'm sorry man I was just joking..

Natsu: Well maybe you shouldn't always joke!

Gray: Well then maybe you shouldn't always be broke!

Natsu: I GO ON MISSIONS MORE THAN YOU

Gray: I know I just wanted to rhyme...

Erza: *speeds round the corner crashing into all of the lamp posts, stops in front of Natsu and Gray* get in losers we're going hunting

Natsu/Gray: *jump in the car with Erza and Lucy*

Lucy: So Erza did you finally decide to join a team?

Erza: Naturally. After becoming level 25 I've decided to join Team Mystic and have began working under Blanche, of course with the approval of the guild master as a true magici-

Natsu: OMG ERZA SHUT UP TEAM VALOR IS SO MUCH BETTER BLANCHE HAS A FUCKING UGLY HAIR CUT CANDELA LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER

Lucy: ACTUALLY SPARK LOOKS FUCKING SEXY

Natsu: *gasps* you betrayed me..

Lucy: I'm sorry. He promised me a Lickitung!

Natsu: *gasps* that's bullshit I could've gotten you a Dragonite!

Lucy: No. Go away I don't want it!

Natsu: You didn't say that last night

Gray: KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM

Erza: We've arrived

Natsu: *looks at his phone* OMG SO MANY POKE STOPS

Gray: Good you need poke balls because you throw them around like it's child's play.

Natsu: Fuck off.

Erza/Lucy: *walking off in the distance towards a gym*

Gray: Yah! Wait up!

Natsu: *continuously ask random people if he's more sexy than Spark by doing poses*

Gray: COME ON FLAME BRAIN

Natsu: *skips over*

Gray: Why are you in such a good mood?

Natsu: Some girl named Sherry gave me a rare trading card!

Gray: WHAT?! Let me see!

Natsu: *hands over a cased first edition Charizard*

Gray: Woah

Natsu: Now give it back!

Gray: No let me have it!

*they start pulling on both ends*

*the card rips*

Natsu: *gasps*

Gray: oh shit

Natsu: *dramatically falls to his knees* NOOOOOOOO

People: *stare*

Lucy: *strokes Natsu's back* it's okay. He's in a better place now

Natsu: *grabs Lucy's arm and wipes his snotty nose on it* ok im done

Happy: *floats over, hands Lucy her phone* I GOT IT! I GOT IT! But Lucy you really shouldn't make me do all your dirty work for you it's totally out of order. BUT ANYWAY I CAUGHT A MEOWTH!

Natsu: *high fives happy* WELL DONE BUDDY YOU DID SO WELL

Happy: ONLY COST LUCY 68 POKEBALLS! *winks, thumbs up*

Lucy: WHAT?!

Gray: That's not even a good pokemon what the fuck

Happy: IT'S A FELLOW CAT I MUST SAVE IT FROM THE WILD GRAY YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!

Lucy: Where's Erza *looks around*

*a massive crowd forming*

Erza: *wearing Team Mystic merchandise*

Jellal: *wearing Team Valor merchandise*

*both on their phones battling*

Everyone: *shouting words of advice or words of hate*

Jellal: NO NO NO

Erza: NOW FOR MY SPECIAL MOVE! *dramatically lifts hand to press on her phone, sniffs the air*

Laxus: *Walks past with strawberry cake*

Erza: *head snaps into his direction*

Everyone: *quiets staring at Laxus*

Laxus: *looks up* ..what? ._.

*silence*

Lyon: HE'S TEAM INSTINCT

*silence*

Everyone: GET HIM!

*Laxus gets chased around town and Erza gets her cake*

Erza/Jellal: *shake hands*

Jellal: Fair fight

Erza: Couldn't agree more *takes over the gym*

Sting: *walking* I'm out of pokeballs ffs where's the next pokestop

Yukino: From my calculations...or by the tracker on Pokemon Go... it's about another 0.2 miles

Rogue: MY EGG IS HATCHING

Sting/Yukino: *jump, crowd his phone*

Egg: *hatches*

Rattata: *jumps out*

Rogue: WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS A 10KM EGG *throws his phone*

Lector: *Starts laughing, rolls onto his back*

Frosch: It's okay Rogue *pats Rogue's shoulder* It will be okay

Rogue: *smiles at Frosch*

Yukino: Um..Rogue..

Rogue: *looks at her*

Yukino: *holds up completely smashed phone* it's slightly broken

Rogue: Fuck that shit I'm starting over

Sting: Join Team Instinct with me this time!

**I had fun writing this! Hopefully people could maybe make suggestions for future chapters? Love all your support!**

**-Cookie**


End file.
